Bente ________: Quarter Life Crisis
Quarter life crisis. I know you're supposed to experience that when your twenty-five but I was giddy, glib, naive, flying off the handle, self assured, twenty five. Or so I think. The problem is that nothing much (maybe except everything) has changed since twenty eight. It's different. It feels cold. It feels real. It feels grown up. At times painfully so. I'm thankful I was weaned off from home earlier than 25 but there are of course still tendrils of your upbringing and "home" clinging to that part of you.
I think about the future... maybe a bit too much. While I am reminded of Jeremiah 29:11, and His assurance of constancy in my life, I am equally reminded that I have not been constant. In fact, I have been very inconsistent, and indecisive, and that characteristic streak of rebellion directed at no one in particular that needs to be nipped at the bud, has been manifesting its ugly head again and again. In my sinful and carnal heart, I have neglected to work out my salvation, to trust on Him implicitly, and to shun any form of sin in my life.
Maybe that's the reason I'm confused. A 'lil bit off tangent even. Or maybe altogether lost. Yes, that too. If I don't have a saving relationship with Christ, I can never be happy in His presence thus I would not want to be saved. It's a simple axiom.
My thinking gets this way when my connection with the Maker is weak. And it is usually weakened either by not spending time with Him or by sin.
Anyway, happy birthday to me! Booyaa!
I think about the future... maybe a bit too much. While I am reminded of Jeremiah 29:11, and His assurance of constancy in my life, I am equally reminded that I have not been constant. In fact, I have been very inconsistent, and indecisive, and that characteristic streak of rebellion directed at no one in particular that needs to be nipped at the bud, has been manifesting its ugly head again and again. In my sinful and carnal heart, I have neglected to work out my salvation, to trust on Him implicitly, and to shun any form of sin in my life.
Maybe that's the reason I'm confused. A 'lil bit off tangent even. Or maybe altogether lost. Yes, that too. If I don't have a saving relationship with Christ, I can never be happy in His presence thus I would not want to be saved. It's a simple axiom.
My thinking gets this way when my connection with the Maker is weak. And it is usually weakened either by not spending time with Him or by sin.
Anyway, happy birthday to me! Booyaa!
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